“Straight Pride” isn’t Offensive?, it’s Just Pointless

Ellie McFarland | @El_FarAwayLand

In August 2019, an organization called “Super Happy Fun America” will be hosting a “Straight Pride Parade” in Boston. One of the lead organizers, John Hugo says that his event is a commentary against “identity politics” he feels the LGBT community abuses. He and his supporters pat themselves on the back for their expert trolling of the libtards as media coverage swarms about their “offensive comedy”. However, what everyone is missing is that Hugo’s “trolling” is neither offensive nor funny. It’s meaningless, ill-informed, and pointless.

The very basis of Super Happy Fun America’s joke is a falsehood. It operates contingently on Pride month and its various celebrations being of sexuality or gender alone. This, however, could only be more incorrect if their joke rested on Pride month being a celebration of Great White sharks. It is the same song and dance that weasels its way into the conversation in black history month and women’s history month. It is the same siren song of “If you really are so equal, how come this immutable aspect of yourself needs to be celebrated?”. The thing is, during black history month the people being celebrated are not being celebrated because of their blackness. The women celebrated during women’s history month aren’t being celebrated over their ovaries.

People recognized during these periods of celebration are being touted out into the media because only a few decades ago they actually didn’t have the same rights as many others. The activism, art, and innovations made by blacks and women were deliberately concealed. Those months exist to shine a light on their achievements so that, albeit too late, their efforts will be recognized. Likewise, Pride does not exist to only be a vivacious celebration of thinking the same sex is hot or a raucous stewing of gender dysphoria.

LGBT Pride month exist in the same way black history month and women’s history month exist. These celebrations are a recognition of an oppressed group’s legitimacy and their triumphs despite the odds being levied against them. It is flat out not true to say that gay people are not oppressed to any extent in the West and it’s ludicrous to say that gay people are not oppressed worldwide. According to FBI crime statistics, 96% of hate crimes committed on the basis of sexuality were committed for expressly anti-LGBT reasons. Only 4% were committed because of a burning hatred of straight people.

That’s just the statistic for the United States overall. In the South, and in other disproportionately religious populations, the statistics are even bleaker. Without even leaving our nation, we find that nearly 700,000 LGBT adults have been subjected to conversion therapy. This does not include the 77,000 children who have received or will receive some form of conversion therapy during their lives. Once we venture into theocracies and proto-theocracies, the lives of LGBT people are nothing short of terror. In most of Africa and the Middle East, homosexuality, in men specifically, is illegal or even punishable by brutal death. In some circumstances, gay men are forced to undergo SRS or sexual reassignment surgery which is often botched but is the only alternative to the death penalty.

Pride parades are not celebrations of any identity by itself. Unlike being black or a woman, being gay can be hidden. You can marry someone who you’re not attracted to, you can live a lie and you might not even get caught. But in America, you have the freedom to live how and love who you see fit. Yes, being gay is nothing to be proud of, it’s a circumstance of your birth. But being able to honor our rights, and the activists who earned us our rights is absolutely something to shout about from the rooftops.

The straight pride parade is clearly just a very big and very expensive conservative virtue signal about identity politics. Its thin veneer of humor falls flat when it fails at being both offensive and comedic. In order for something to be funny, it also has to be true, at least in part. John Hugo neither caused the LGBT community to clutch their grandma’s pearls nor caused straight people to fall off their sofas laughing. It instead put on nation-wide display, a sore misunderstanding gay, bisexual, and lesbian history and activism.


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